You Should Have Seen It In Color

Seeing something in color means you were there, that you got to have the experience for yourself. Nothing can replace being a part of a special event. Nothing can stop the drive for true patriots to honor their own. You can always look at pictures, but they will never replace being there.

The tenth annual Ben Kopp Memorial Ride took place on July 25th. It was one week after the eleventh angel-versary (date of death) of my Ben. For ten years in a row, I have hosted and facilitated (with a lot of help) this event in honor of Ben and those who have selflessly served our country. To date, close to $300,000 has been raised to help our veterans. Honestly, the success and impact of the BKMR reaches beyond dollar signs. It’s personal for many who attend and is a continued ripple effect of Ben’s life.

This year we switched from a two-day event to a one-day event in the midst of a pandemic. Reading that line alone would draw me to conclude we would face a serious deficit in attendance. We did not. We welcomed the usual size crowd and had 210 motorcycles participate in the ride. Spirits were high as we gathered to ride, honor and immerse our thirsty souls into some much needed fellowship with our family of patriots.

The faces in the crowd are storied. As per usual, ninety-five percent of them did not know Ben when he was living. They are former classmates, they are patriots and their families; many of whom are veterans, and always a handful of men, like Ben, who served in the 75th Ranger Regiment. We need each other.

"The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it." -William James

The Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association became a new fiscal sponsor this year. Their mission and that of the BKMR was a perfect match. The BKMR mission will always be to be a conduit to the brotherhood (and sisters too), to remind those in need that we are never alone. The men and women I have been fortunate to connect with from the CVMA all have a heart to serve one another. One of the CVMA members and I were having a conversation with a combat veteran and told him about the BKMR. The veteran listened intently as the CVMA member explained to him that riding with fellow combat veterans and patriots was the closest thing there is outside of the military to marching together with your comrades. We need each other.

The Ben Kopp Memorial Ride is a motorcycle ride, however, the ride is only one part of what takes place at the event. When I tell people about the BKMR for the first time, one of the comments I often receive is, “I don’t have a motorcycle.” I tell them you don’t need one to participate. It’s about way more than that. The coming together of like minded people to support our veterans and honor our fallen is at the top of the list. That support gets paid forward with the monies that are raised and through the hearts that are touched.

In the movie Dances with Wolves, one of the Natives he initially encountered was hostile to Kevin Costner's character, John Dunbar. He was an outsider and he made darn sure he knew it. As Dunbar became a part of the tribe, Wind In His Hair, began to warm up to him. By the end of the movie, Wind In His Hair had changed his tune about Dunbar. He saw their similarities and revered him as a brother. As Dunbar and his wife permanently leave the tribe for the safety of all, Wind In His Hair declares in a gut wrenching shout from a high cliff above them, “I am Wind in His Hair. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that I will always be your friend”? He repeats this multiple times as he watches his friend solemnly ride away.

Wind In His Hair became Dances with Wolves brother. They were put together through unpleasant circumstances, but over time, came to see they were on the same side and grew to respect each other. Friends. Brothers. One in the same.

Each of our stories matter, this is why I always want to Lead, Motivate and Connect. The BKMR is one of the ways I get to do this. All who show up bring a story. We don’t wear them on our foreheads, we don’t always talk about them, but they live inside of us. Some good, some not so good. Point is, they are there and we come together with those we know have an understanding, will not judge us and welcome us no matter where we are on our journey. We need each other.

I recently shared an intimate conversation with friends. One of them served in a leadership role with Ben during all three of his deployments. The other is a close friend whose husband is a combat veteran. I had read something to them that I wrote ten years ago to the men of Ben’s unit as they prepared to leave on their first deployment after Ben’s death. I remained composed while the two of them had tears in their eyes. Dave asked if it was hard for me. I said no. Barb said she didn’t believe me. Dave agreed with Barb. I responded by saying this is the life I have lived with for eleven years. I am used to it. Maybe that means I am used to hiding my pain. I can’t deny that. We shared a group hug. I need them. I need the ones who understand and feel my pain, more than they know. We all do.

The success of the BKMR is like a well oiled machine or perhaps a really cool old muscle car. Remember that Johnny Cash song, “One piece at a time?” He obtained the parts to his car one piece at a time by stealing them from his workplace. All the parts came from different makes and models, yet each is essential for the car to run properly. The same can be said of the BKMR. There are many moving parts that make it what it is; the parking lot attendant(s), registration, silent auction, road guards, escorts, ambulance, chase vehicle, bar stop staff, Bogarts staff, AND the hearts of all involved and all who come year after year to show their support. Each of our stories are weaved into Ben’s story, one piece a time. I do see it like a beautiful classic car, many original parts that have kept their luster because of the love and commitment of others to keep Ben’s legacy and that of our combat veterans alive and well. I’ll call it a 1967 midnight blue Camaro!

"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example." -Benjamin Disraeli

The CVMA made me an honorary family member during the event. It was made official with a vest that dons several personalized, hand sewn patches. I was very touched to become a part of their family. I wore the vest with pride for the rest of the day and will do so for all future BKMRs. You should see it in color!